This is the story of a woman who thought she knew what she wanted: marriage, babies, and the traditional script until her abusive marriage nearly destroyed her. At almost 40, I fled to Costa Rica to heal, but instead discovered something revolutionary: I could rewrite the rules entirely.

What started as recovery became a six-year journey across six continents, where I learned that love doesn't have to look like what we're taught. I explored polyamory in Berlin's underground scene, had my heart broken in Malaysia, survived threesomes gone wrong, and ultimately found myself trapped in another abusive relationship during the pandemic in Colombia—this time ending with a black eye and a humanitarian flight home.

But here's the twist: each 'failure' was actually teaching me to trust my own voice. Through nervous system work and hormone therapy, I finally understood that my real problem wasn't choosing the wrong men, it was abandoning myself to fit into relationships that were never designed for my wholeness.

This memoir isn't just about polyamory or travel—it's about the radical act of designing a life that honors all parts of who you are. It's for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing their life instead of living it, who suspects there might be another way to love and be loved.

At its heart, it's a story about coming home to yourself, wherever in the world that might be and discovering that the most revolutionary thing you can do is refuse to shrink to fit someone else's expectations of who you should be.